III. Ways to control anger

There are two ways: 1) of relative truth; 2) of ultimate truth.

1) The way of relative truth

i. Be understanding

Oftentimes, resentment, complaint and anger between people are caused by misunderstanding.

To control one’s anger when one is on the receiving end of someone’s abuse or bullying is difficult. It is normal not to handle the situation well right then and there. But afterwards, one should calm down and visualize the other person in the dispute, and say to oneself: I really shouldn’t have let my temper get the better of me just now. This person is not related to me in this life, but he or she must have been my mother before in previous lives and treated me with great kindness like my mother now. As she lost all her memories when she was reborn, the fact that we once had a mother-child relationship is completely lost to her now. Had this person known, he or she would not have treated me this way. But I know the truth and the reason behind it. How can I blame her and return her kindness with animosity? I should learn to be more understanding instead of being vindictive. It’s not her fault, but the fault of negative emotions, that she hurts me today. Due to ignorance, she forgot she was once my mother. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have hurt me or hit me back even if I treated her rudely. She never meant to hurt me if not for the anger that took over her mind, making her unreasonable beyond her own control. I would behave the same way if I were to let negative emotions take over me. It is plainly clear that the chief culprit is defilement itself. Blame it, if anyone is to be blamed.

This is not self-deception. If you know the truth of cyclic existence, you know this is the fact. Those who don’t believe in causality and cyclic existence will find it almost impossible to treat a total stranger with gratitude, especially when that person is not kind. And it may not be all that sincere even if appreciation is expressed. On the other hand, if one accepts the idea of cyclic existence, and recognizes the person as one’s mother in a previous life, it will be much easier to treat that person with kindness.

~ Depicted from "THE HANDBOOK FOR LIFE"S JOURNEY : On The Three Poisons - How to Confront Anger

OVERVIEW OF BUDDHISM - Three Turnings of the Wheel of Dharma

Buddha Sakyamuni turned the wheel of Dharma three times.

The first turning of the wheel of Dharma came shortly after the Buddha attained Buddhahood. The teachings are basic in nature, easy to understand, and deal mainly with cultivating proper conduct in life, eradicating evil deeds, taking up virtuous deeds, and other such actions linked to Theravada Buddhism. The teachings of the first turning are likened to courses given in primary school.

~ Depicted from ARE U READY FOR HAPPINESS : The Significance of Buddhist Philosophy Today

What does the word “renounce” mean? First, to renounce is to forsake all worldly concerns. In other words, to renounce is not to have any attachment to worldly things and, at the same time, to be fully aware of the suffering nature of samsara. Second, one must endeavor to seek liberation from all suffering.

~ Depicted from Luminous Wisdom Book Series 1

In his explanation of the Ornament of Clear Realization, Patrul Rinpoche raised a crucial point. He said, “The goal of the bodhisattva is not to attain Buddhahood.” If that was not the goal, would the practitioners of Mahayana have any goal at all?

What he really meant is that if the aspiration to attain Buddhahood was simply due to one’s admiration for the Buddha’s greatness, his pure innocence and fulfillment of all virtues, yet no concerns for liberation of other sentient beings, it would not be in accordance with the doctrine of Mahayana. In other words, if liberation of others is out of the consideration, no matter how hard one works to keep the vow of attaining Buddhahood, those efforts will not be counted as Mahayana practice.

~ Depicted from THE RIGHT VIEW - The Three Supreme Methods—the ultimate methods of cultivating virtue and training the mind

How to learn Buddhadharma is very important. If Buddhists don’t dedicate efforts to hear, contemplate and meditate the teachings, focusing instead on the rituals such as attending pujas, tsok, fire offering and empowerment ceremonies, burning expensive incense and worshiping the deities, among others, the real meaning of learning the Dharma would still be missing even if these are all done with great sincerity. Although a properly conducted empowerment is needed and useful, absent the practice of hearing, contemplation and meditation, the Buddha’s thought and teachings will not be propagated effectively. Holding concerns for personal health, longevity, money, work, family, etc. as their ultimate goal, Buddhist followers can neither benefit from practicing the Dharma nor actualize the path to liberation. And Buddhadharma ends up losing its real core value.

~ Depicted from "THE HANDBOOK FOR LIFE"S JOURNEY : On The Three Poisons - How to Confront Anger

The World Bank and World Health Organization expect depression to be the biggest public health problem worldwide in the not too distant future. In 2006 alone, the annual expenditure on anti-depressants in the United States was estimated at seventy-six billion US dollars. However, the effectiveness of these drugs has been less than ideal, since the drugs cause damage to that part of the brain that controls the subtle thought processes. Thus, the long term use of anti-depressants will affect our emotional state.

~ Depicted from ARE U READY FOR HAPPINESS : The Significance of Buddhist Philosophy Today

All our concepts are transmitted to and analysed by our consciousness. What we see, hear, smell, taste, and feel with our eyes, ears, nose, tongue and body provides information and evidence for our consciousness to judge and make decisions.

If our senses are reliable and accurate, then the information they transmit to us will not be wrong; if our senses are limited, the information they transfer to us cannot be trusted. Our five senses are not ultimately reliable, though, which can be discerned from the example of the pebble.  We need to be aware that everything in this world is illusory and insubstantial.

~ Depicted from Luminous Wisdom Book Series 7

As for other beings, we can employ different methods that are suitable for them. For example, when liberating animals, we should recite the Buddha’s names and mantras for these animals. They cannot understand the Dharma teachings, but we believe the recitation of sutras and mantras will sow seeds of liberation in their minds, and that these seeds will soon mature. By then, they will know how to take the path to liberation and will actively seek out its direction as well. This is all we can do for animals. Humans, on the other hand, understand ideas. Teaching them the Dharma then becomes something extremely important.

~ Depicted from THE RIGHT VIEW - The Three Supreme Methods—the ultimate methods of cultivating virtue and training the mind

We have all seen the weapon-like objects such as a sword held by Manjusri and many other bodhisattvas. These weapons are not meant for subduing any beings but destroying desire, anger and delusion. The purpose for learning and practicing Buddhadharma is to enable us to face, control and eliminate all defilement, which are also the mission and the goal of Buddhists. The criterion for measuring the quality of any practice is not the amount of mantra recited, the extent of merit accumulated, or how one fares in money terms, job, health, etc., but whether negative emotions have been reduced. For example, we can check if we feel as angry as before when others insult or bully us now. If anger remains the same, our endeavor to learn the Dharma basically loses its real purpose. Naturally, it is impossible to completely eliminate negative emotions before realization of emptiness is attained. We can only somewhat keep them under proper control.

~ Depicted from "THE HANDBOOK FOR LIFE"S JOURNEY : On The Three Poisons - How to Confront Anger